I've been pondering writing for a long time. Most of the time I feel like it's all white noise in there, in my head. But, there's so much more because there are a thousand different posts that go through my head each day. It's just that, by the time I sit down to write something down, it's late at night. Too late to start contemplating what to write and I'm spent from the day chasing my other three boys. My 'me' time becomes, I don't know, white noise I guess!
Then I saw when I logged on, the little ticker to the side.
It's been one year, one month, one week and one day since we said goodbye.
One boy. One birth. One death. One womb. One life. One loss.
One.
It is really hard to write with children. I keep a blank word document open on my computer, and run back and write the lines that comes to me during the day, then at night, I jump off from them.
ReplyDeleteThat meditation on One was beautiful. Remembering Joseph with you. xo
I love your One anology. Sometimes one line is all it takes, thinking of Joseph xo
ReplyDeleteThis post makes the number one seem like the largest number possible...because it is.
ReplyDeleteAlways so many thoughts going on in our heads, but you are right it is so hard to find the time to write it all down and yet when we do it always feels so good to get it out.
Oh Kate...One boy! One Joseph, your joseph. When numbers like that line up, i usually try and make a wish. Wishes are hard these days, they don't always come true, even on the brink of coming true. Sending so much love to you.
ReplyDeleteOne.. so well said Kate. He is the one who will always live by encircling your heart...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Kate. One, one, one. I agree with Addi's Mom, is there a more fierce number?
ReplyDeleteWriting with kids IS hard and I only have one. I had to wake up at 5:30am this morning just to spend some quiet time with my go-to blogs.
Joseph the reclaimed piece of wood lives in my closet now, sitting there next to pictures of my mom and sisters, staring at me each morning. Always thinking of him, and you, and the lives that we lead without our children.
Lots of love and peace to you.
Josh
Oh Kate. You have been in my thoughts this week. Much love.
ReplyDeleteSometimes there is only white noise and sometimes there is the enormity of what we have lost and both are hard and both are difficult to live with and I'm so sorry that one of your special boys is not in your arms where he should be.
ReplyDeleteWhite noise. Yes, what a great way to describe it.
ReplyDeleteThinking of Joeseph. xx